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Building Strong Character and Academic Diligence in Children

Raising children who are both strong in character and diligent in their studies is a challenge that many parents face. We all want our children to grow into responsible, hardworking, and virtuous individuals who can navigate the complexities of life with confidence. But how do we achieve this balance between character formation and academic excellence?

Dr. Andy Mullins, an experienced educator and former principal of Redfield College and Wollemi College in Sydney, shares his insights on this crucial topic. Drawing from over 30 years of working with families, he explores the fundamental relationship between character and diligent study.

The Connection Between Character and Study

Many parents worry that focusing too much on character development might compromise their child’s academic performance. However, Dr. Mullins emphasizes that work is a school of virtue. Hard work, when done with the right intention, strengthens character.

The key is to balance high expectations with deep affection. Parents must challenge their children to achieve their full potential while also ensuring they feel loved and supported. A home filled with warmth but no expectations, leaves children unprepared for life, while a home that only demands results without affection can drive them away. The balance lies in demanding through affection.

The Secret of Living Is Giving

A crucial aspect of character development is fostering a mindset of service. A phrase that deeply resonates with Dr. Mullins is, “The secret of living is giving.” This perspective transforms work from a self-centred pursuit into an act of service for others.

Children need to understand that their studies and hard work are not just for personal success but for the greater good. This shift in mindset cultivates a sense of purpose and resilience, leading to deeper fulfillment in life.

Teaching Children to Take Responsibility for Their Character

Character development is not about enforcing rules; it’s about guiding children to internalize values. The Greek philosopher Plutarch wisely stated that growing up is not about removing rules but changing the ruler – it is about transitioning from just following rules to ruling oneself with self-mastery.

Parents must give their children many opportunities to make choices and take responsibility for their actions. Consulting children on family decisions and allowing them to express their opinions fosters independence and self-governance.

Children as young as seven begin to understand truth and accountability. Holding them responsible for their words and actions at this stage helps them cultivate integrity and resilience.

Parental Influence and the Power of Example

Children learn not just through words but through example. Parents who demonstrate diligence, responsibility, and service instil these values in their children. Dr. Mullins recalls a boy who understood that homework was important but also believed that his father valued football training more. This subtle message influenced his priorities.

Parents should model a work ethic that is service-oriented rather than material-driven. Teaching children that success is not about accumulating wealth but about making a positive impact on others fosters a healthier perspective on work and life.

Strengthening the Parent-Child Relationship

One of the most significant influences on a child’s character is their relationship with their parents. Dr. Mullins stresses the importance of being closer to your child than any other influence in their life, including peer pressure and social media.

Parents who invest time in meaningful conversations with their children create a bond of trust. Teenagers especially need to feel that they can confide in their parents without fear of judgment. Small, consistent efforts—such as one-on-one outings, engaging in shared hobbies, and prioritizing conversations—go a long way in maintaining this connection. Never underestimate a small chat over afternoon tea!

The Role of Family Culture

Creating a strong family culture with guiding principles reinforces character development. Simple mantras like “We always finish what we start” or “Wash the cup because you love the next person who will use it” embed values into daily life. Additionally, fostering joy in serving others—whether through household chores or community involvement—teaches children the deeper purpose of work.

Parental Unity: A Crucial Foundation

Children thrive when they receive consistent messages from both parents. Beyond just being on the same page regarding discipline and expectations, parents must also model a loving and supportive relationship. If children see that their parents genuinely care for and serve one another, they will naturally emulate this in their own lives.

Making time for intentional discussions about parenting goals—whether through a weekly candlelit dinner or daily check-ins—ensures that both parents remain aligned in their approach to raising their children.

Final Thoughts

Building strong character and academic diligence in children requires intentionality, consistency, and a deep relationship between parents and their children. By balancing affection with clear expectations, modelling a service-oriented work ethic, and fostering an open line of communication, parents can guide their children to become individuals of both wisdom and virtue.

The journey of parenting is not just about raising successful children—it’s about raising good human beings who are equipped to contribute meaningfully to the world. And that is the true measure of success.

This article was inspired by episode #65 of the Parent-Teacher Project with Dr Andy Mullins, entitled, ‘Diligence & Heart: Raising Kids Who Thrive & Give’.

Listen to the entire episode below.